Look Out!

I leave you with some things to avoid if you want to stay on my good side.

1. Walking in the bike lane-I will run you over. There are no ifs ands or buts about it. Just walk on the wide sidewalk that the dear University has given so kindly to you PEDestrians.
2. Stopping in the middle of a sidewalk to talk to your friends when there is a beautiful grassy knoll to either side of you-If it were for this purpose, it would be called a sidestop.
3. Sexy halloween costumes-Honestly ladies, if they've satirized it on College Humor, you know it's ridiculous. http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1715915
4. Cosmopolitan magazine-This is the worst thing to happen to women since men. JKJK. Seriously though, Cosmo is pretty much the bane of my existence. Not only does it basically take us back to a time period in Women's history that we should never visit again, every issue is the same. I'm fairly sure we're up to at least 23849723439274 ways to please your man.
5. Sixlets-POOR MAN'S M&Ms. If you are a nice adult, do not offer these candies to any trick or treaters.